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i'd like to bitch
Oct. 7th, 2009 07:54 pmthis is apparently a subject of great debate in fandom. or, at least, it apparently has been in the past. but i'd like to complain about fanfiction headers. specifically regarding a couple of fics i have read recently.
dear author, you called this a curtains!fic. after reading, i do believe you are misinformed. unless you like your curtains getting infested with fleas and bursting into flames.
dear author, please do warn about the MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH that happens in the SECOND TO LAST chapter of this 20-some chaptered fic. what a fucking waste of my time, asshole.
dear author, please do label the correct pairings. you may think you ship x/y, but i do believe you have an x/z kink. you think that's hot? fine. but I DON'T.
i don't get what's so fucking difficult about properly labeling fic, or why authors are so against doing this. it's really pissing me off. seriously, KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE.
dear author, you called this a curtains!fic. after reading, i do believe you are misinformed. unless you like your curtains getting infested with fleas and bursting into flames.
dear author, please do warn about the MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH that happens in the SECOND TO LAST chapter of this 20-some chaptered fic. what a fucking waste of my time, asshole.
dear author, please do label the correct pairings. you may think you ship x/y, but i do believe you have an x/z kink. you think that's hot? fine. but I DON'T.
i don't get what's so fucking difficult about properly labeling fic, or why authors are so against doing this. it's really pissing me off. seriously, KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE.
more fanfic complaints
Sep. 23rd, 2009 09:50 pmi know i've said this before, but torchwood fanfic really fucking depresses me. even the so-called happy fics. i mean shit... is this really what people consider good relationships? it scares the hell out of me.
maybe it's just that i really don't know what proper love is or how a good relationship really goes. i mean, i don't exactly have a stellar record do i? maybe i really don't know shit. but goddamn, if this is how actual relationships go, then i really am going to be single for the rest of my life because i DO NOT WANT THAT. and that is so fucking depressing.
and yeah, i know. it's fanfiction. why the hell am i taking it so seriously anyhow? but the thing is, tv and movies and books aren't exactly any better are they? ok. maybe they are. but i'm not watching and/or reading them. and fanfiction is written by 'real people'. shouldn't it seem more 'real' ?
i dunno. i'm tired and i'm sick and this fanfic i'm reading is just so fucking depressing. and it's supposedly happy. fuck.
maybe it's just that i really don't know what proper love is or how a good relationship really goes. i mean, i don't exactly have a stellar record do i? maybe i really don't know shit. but goddamn, if this is how actual relationships go, then i really am going to be single for the rest of my life because i DO NOT WANT THAT. and that is so fucking depressing.
and yeah, i know. it's fanfiction. why the hell am i taking it so seriously anyhow? but the thing is, tv and movies and books aren't exactly any better are they? ok. maybe they are. but i'm not watching and/or reading them. and fanfiction is written by 'real people'. shouldn't it seem more 'real' ?
i dunno. i'm tired and i'm sick and this fanfic i'm reading is just so fucking depressing. and it's supposedly happy. fuck.
broadening my horizons (or not)
Aug. 19th, 2009 10:55 pmi read an awesome hp fanfic today. i feel kind of bad, because i haven't read any in a REALLY long time, and this reminded me how much i LOVE these boys. it was by one of my favorite authors and her ron is just so absolutely perfect. so i ended up reading a bunch of others as well and i smiled SO MUCH. they just make me so happy :)
then i read another (yes, another) au ai fic tonight. it was also made of awesome. and so funny too! i feel kind of creepy reading rpf, but these two ARE au's, and a good story is a good story, right? and, again, they just leave me feeling extremely happy! so i shouldn't feel bad.
cuz i'm tired of feeling bad. and torchwood just breaks my heart. seriously, the contrast in emotional response between the hp and tw fic i read is ridiculous. and i deserve some fucking happiness.
speaking of torchwood... it is ianto jones' birthday today. and i firmly believe he is alive and well and celebrating spectacularly.
then i read another (yes, another) au ai fic tonight. it was also made of awesome. and so funny too! i feel kind of creepy reading rpf, but these two ARE au's, and a good story is a good story, right? and, again, they just leave me feeling extremely happy! so i shouldn't feel bad.
cuz i'm tired of feeling bad. and torchwood just breaks my heart. seriously, the contrast in emotional response between the hp and tw fic i read is ridiculous. and i deserve some fucking happiness.
speaking of torchwood... it is ianto jones' birthday today. and i firmly believe he is alive and well and celebrating spectacularly.
crappy fanfiction
Aug. 13th, 2009 08:56 pmi'm so bummed :(
as i've said before, i don't read wip's. and a while back i saw a fic that i thought had a really good premise, and would be extremely interesting. i've been waiting and waiting for the whole thing to be finished. today they finally posted the epilogue and i was SO excited to start reading!
only to find after the first couple of sentences that it is complete SHIT. absolutely horribly awful. it sucks BALLZ. and yet i'm still reading it. wtf?
ugh. what a waste. i want somebody GOOD to take the idea and re-write it properly.
as i've said before, i don't read wip's. and a while back i saw a fic that i thought had a really good premise, and would be extremely interesting. i've been waiting and waiting for the whole thing to be finished. today they finally posted the epilogue and i was SO excited to start reading!
only to find after the first couple of sentences that it is complete SHIT. absolutely horribly awful. it sucks BALLZ. and yet i'm still reading it. wtf?
ugh. what a waste. i want somebody GOOD to take the idea and re-write it properly.
getting through it
Jul. 13th, 2009 12:23 amso i still broke down into tears several times today and yesterday, but there have been some things that have made me smile.
1. the askworld players did a wonderful fix-it post. it made me cry and it made me laugh, and i wish i could thank every last one of them for helping so many of us in fandom. even those like me who don't actively participate.
2. went to the rents today and picked black raspberries with my dad. we spent a long time outside in the amazingly gorgeous weather and i took tons of pictures. i wanted to talk to him about it, but he has yet to watch. i brought the eps down for him today, so hopefully we can talk soon. it was nice spending time with my mom and dad and papa during an emotionally difficult time.
3. reading other people's reactions. knowing that i am not the only one who has taken it SO hard and is still breaking down over it. and that i'm NOT being silly or ridiculous (since it isn't REAL) and that it is OKAY to be feeling this way.
4. reading several fix-it fics that deal with tw: children of earth AS IS, but still have ianto live. very clever and very good. thank you!
5. caerdydd. a welsh tv show that gareth david-lloyd had a small part in recently. some lovely person put his scenes up on youtube and watching it made me ridiculously happy. i'm not sure why, but it just made me feel better and smile and feel hopeful. i want to see him in more things, especially if it is going to make me feel this happy.
thank you to all these people!
1. the askworld players did a wonderful fix-it post. it made me cry and it made me laugh, and i wish i could thank every last one of them for helping so many of us in fandom. even those like me who don't actively participate.
2. went to the rents today and picked black raspberries with my dad. we spent a long time outside in the amazingly gorgeous weather and i took tons of pictures. i wanted to talk to him about it, but he has yet to watch. i brought the eps down for him today, so hopefully we can talk soon. it was nice spending time with my mom and dad and papa during an emotionally difficult time.
3. reading other people's reactions. knowing that i am not the only one who has taken it SO hard and is still breaking down over it. and that i'm NOT being silly or ridiculous (since it isn't REAL) and that it is OKAY to be feeling this way.
4. reading several fix-it fics that deal with tw: children of earth AS IS, but still have ianto live. very clever and very good. thank you!
5. caerdydd. a welsh tv show that gareth david-lloyd had a small part in recently. some lovely person put his scenes up on youtube and watching it made me ridiculously happy. i'm not sure why, but it just made me feel better and smile and feel hopeful. i want to see him in more things, especially if it is going to make me feel this happy.
thank you to all these people!
torchwood, fanfic and other fandom stuffs
Jun. 19th, 2009 11:50 pmthird torchwood trailer:
another trailer, with only acting eve. i will admit that it is a bit creepy, but it mostly just makes me laugh. okay, the world is NOT going to end. we know this, and so it’s just funny and false to make us actually think that it does or something. and yes, torchwood may be over, but doctor who still goes on, and there is no way that they could ‘destroy the world’ or earth or whatever. it’s overly dramatic and a bit ridiculous and a lot of acting acting eve.
fanfiction & other fandom stuffs:
i get so annoyed with all of the sex in fandom. random pairings “just because” or “i think they are hot” or “an orgy would be SO crazy cool and fun.” i guess i am too old fashioned, because i actually want to see a relationship between characters, and not just an excuse to get them a sexin.
but then that takes us into canon vs. fanon territory, and that is a whole huge slippery slope that i find tricky to navigate. my feelings on all of that are difficult to explain and sometimes hypocritical and extremely varied. and, of course, i believe MY views are the correct views. except when i'm ambivalent.
and then also, there is the whole ot3 thing that people go on about. i am not a fan of threesomes or polyamory, but i know a lot of people are (in fandom and real life). but it makes ME uncomfortable (except again, when i have those exceptions of mine) so i stay away from it. i like monogamy and so that is what i read and enjoy.
EDIT: let me reiterate that it seems almost ALL of fandom is into this whole 'sex with everyone!' mentality, and that is what really annoys me. and i hate the excuse/reason for this being that this show was MADE and/or FOUNDED on the 'fact' that everyone gets it on with everyone (or some such bullshit that i think is bullshit). i just keep seeing it so much and it gets really old really fast. i am obviously an odd duck in this regard, which is fine since i don't actively 'participate' in fandom. and this makes me really glad i don't, because it makes me unreasonably disturbed. (should NOT have read fandom!secrets today - 06.24.09)
EDIT the second: case in point... "and then there was an orgy." i see this SO often and i really can't stand it. was reading a thread on someone's journal today and had to close it once i got to this because EVERYone then agreed and expanded and wanted this and on and on and on. ugh. drives me crazy. (08.01.09)
canon vs fanon:
i prefer fic to be as close to canon as possible. but this is where i tend to be kinda messed up and screwy about things.
my first main pairing is NOT canon. but i still want everything to be as canon as possible. this meant that most of the fic i read was future fic. this pairing could have the true love happily ever after ending, and yet i was okay with a third specific character joining in occasionally, because of the relationship the three characters had. but only as a v. two of them just would NOT work as a pair at ALL. and maybe the fact that they CAN get their happily ever after is why i don't mind other people being in the picture.
my second main pairing is (somewhat) canon. this pairing will NOT have the true love happily ever after ending, and yet i am NOT okay with reading fic where other parties are involved. except on the extremely rare occasion of a threesome, but only with oc's, and it has to be REALLY well done, and i'm still always a little bit squicked. maybe the fact that they CAN'T get their happy ending is why i WANT them to so much, and why i don't like other people being involved. maybe because there is enough angst involved with the situation to begin with, i don't like the additional angst of sharing or jealousy or whatever. they have such a short time together as it is, i want them to make the most of it, with each other.
au:
in my first main fandom, i HATED anything that was au. take them out of that world, and i just didn't give a damn. it was silly and stupid and completely uninteresting to me.
in my second main fandom, i have found i LOVE au fic. again, i think it goes back to the lack of happily ever after in canon. in an au fic, my pairing can have the happily ever after. they can have a 'normal' relationship. plus, you can take the characters out of their original setting and still make it interesting and awesome.
(my explanations are horrible and incomplete, and i find it difficult to properly explain my feelings on stuff like this. but sometimes i just feel like i NEED to explain for some reason. even just to myself. this doesn't ever seem to work)
another trailer, with only acting eve. i will admit that it is a bit creepy, but it mostly just makes me laugh. okay, the world is NOT going to end. we know this, and so it’s just funny and false to make us actually think that it does or something. and yes, torchwood may be over, but doctor who still goes on, and there is no way that they could ‘destroy the world’ or earth or whatever. it’s overly dramatic and a bit ridiculous and a lot of acting acting eve.
fanfiction & other fandom stuffs:
i get so annoyed with all of the sex in fandom. random pairings “just because” or “i think they are hot” or “an orgy would be SO crazy cool and fun.” i guess i am too old fashioned, because i actually want to see a relationship between characters, and not just an excuse to get them a sexin.
but then that takes us into canon vs. fanon territory, and that is a whole huge slippery slope that i find tricky to navigate. my feelings on all of that are difficult to explain and sometimes hypocritical and extremely varied. and, of course, i believe MY views are the correct views. except when i'm ambivalent.
and then also, there is the whole ot3 thing that people go on about. i am not a fan of threesomes or polyamory, but i know a lot of people are (in fandom and real life). but it makes ME uncomfortable (except again, when i have those exceptions of mine) so i stay away from it. i like monogamy and so that is what i read and enjoy.
EDIT: let me reiterate that it seems almost ALL of fandom is into this whole 'sex with everyone!' mentality, and that is what really annoys me. and i hate the excuse/reason for this being that this show was MADE and/or FOUNDED on the 'fact' that everyone gets it on with everyone (or some such bullshit that i think is bullshit). i just keep seeing it so much and it gets really old really fast. i am obviously an odd duck in this regard, which is fine since i don't actively 'participate' in fandom. and this makes me really glad i don't, because it makes me unreasonably disturbed. (should NOT have read fandom!secrets today - 06.24.09)
EDIT the second: case in point... "and then there was an orgy." i see this SO often and i really can't stand it. was reading a thread on someone's journal today and had to close it once i got to this because EVERYone then agreed and expanded and wanted this and on and on and on. ugh. drives me crazy. (08.01.09)
canon vs fanon:
i prefer fic to be as close to canon as possible. but this is where i tend to be kinda messed up and screwy about things.
my first main pairing is NOT canon. but i still want everything to be as canon as possible. this meant that most of the fic i read was future fic. this pairing could have the true love happily ever after ending, and yet i was okay with a third specific character joining in occasionally, because of the relationship the three characters had. but only as a v. two of them just would NOT work as a pair at ALL. and maybe the fact that they CAN get their happily ever after is why i don't mind other people being in the picture.
my second main pairing is (somewhat) canon. this pairing will NOT have the true love happily ever after ending, and yet i am NOT okay with reading fic where other parties are involved. except on the extremely rare occasion of a threesome, but only with oc's, and it has to be REALLY well done, and i'm still always a little bit squicked. maybe the fact that they CAN'T get their happy ending is why i WANT them to so much, and why i don't like other people being involved. maybe because there is enough angst involved with the situation to begin with, i don't like the additional angst of sharing or jealousy or whatever. they have such a short time together as it is, i want them to make the most of it, with each other.
au:
in my first main fandom, i HATED anything that was au. take them out of that world, and i just didn't give a damn. it was silly and stupid and completely uninteresting to me.
in my second main fandom, i have found i LOVE au fic. again, i think it goes back to the lack of happily ever after in canon. in an au fic, my pairing can have the happily ever after. they can have a 'normal' relationship. plus, you can take the characters out of their original setting and still make it interesting and awesome.
(my explanations are horrible and incomplete, and i find it difficult to properly explain my feelings on stuff like this. but sometimes i just feel like i NEED to explain for some reason. even just to myself. this doesn't ever seem to work)
lurking lurker who lurks
May. 14th, 2009 08:51 pmso a well-known fanfic writer wrote an original story and self-published it. pretty fucking cool.
i've been a lurker on his lj for over a year (found him via tw fic of course - he's one of my absolute faves - brilliant). been following the whole process of editing and publishing of his book, but wasn't really interested in the story itself, and never read what he posted of it. once he was finished, i downloaded the pdf for free because... well because i could. and it was free. but again, i had no interest in actually reading it.
but last week our internet went down at work. and this hell flowed into this week as well. for lack of anything to do during my down times, i brought the pdf to work so that i at least had SOMEthing to read.
surprise? i LOVED it. besides the two twilight books i read, this is the first time in a long time that i have read an actual original piece of work. not harry potter, not doctor who, not torchwood. while reading it, i kept thinking to myself 'why have you stopped doing this? why don't you read actual books anymore?' i love reading, i love books, i always have. i really need to start doing that again. constantly reading only fandom related crap certainly isn't doing me any bit of good.
but tonight i actually FINISHED the book, and i remembered my problem. i hate it when books end. i just hate it. i get pulled into the story, and fall in love with the characters and settings, and then it just goes away. and almost never in a way that makes me feel done, or satisfied, or fully complete. and that makes me sad and depressed. pathetic, isn't it? yes :(
regardless, i so enjoyed the story, and so enjoy this guy's lj and life and process, that i decided to purchase the book itself. i feel like he's earned it. i read his story. i loved it. he should get compensation for the bit of happiness he created for me.
plus, i feel like i have been involved in this in some small way. which is really stupid because i SO haven't. but still... even tho i'm not one of the 2500, i'm sure i'm among lots of other lurkers out there like me, who feel like we've shared and taken part in something special.
i've been a lurker on his lj for over a year (found him via tw fic of course - he's one of my absolute faves - brilliant). been following the whole process of editing and publishing of his book, but wasn't really interested in the story itself, and never read what he posted of it. once he was finished, i downloaded the pdf for free because... well because i could. and it was free. but again, i had no interest in actually reading it.
but last week our internet went down at work. and this hell flowed into this week as well. for lack of anything to do during my down times, i brought the pdf to work so that i at least had SOMEthing to read.
surprise? i LOVED it. besides the two twilight books i read, this is the first time in a long time that i have read an actual original piece of work. not harry potter, not doctor who, not torchwood. while reading it, i kept thinking to myself 'why have you stopped doing this? why don't you read actual books anymore?' i love reading, i love books, i always have. i really need to start doing that again. constantly reading only fandom related crap certainly isn't doing me any bit of good.
but tonight i actually FINISHED the book, and i remembered my problem. i hate it when books end. i just hate it. i get pulled into the story, and fall in love with the characters and settings, and then it just goes away. and almost never in a way that makes me feel done, or satisfied, or fully complete. and that makes me sad and depressed. pathetic, isn't it? yes :(
regardless, i so enjoyed the story, and so enjoy this guy's lj and life and process, that i decided to purchase the book itself. i feel like he's earned it. i read his story. i loved it. he should get compensation for the bit of happiness he created for me.
plus, i feel like i have been involved in this in some small way. which is really stupid because i SO haven't. but still... even tho i'm not one of the 2500, i'm sure i'm among lots of other lurkers out there like me, who feel like we've shared and taken part in something special.
i am so glad to not actually be "involved" in fandom. i stalk and lurk and watch. i do not participate. after being sucked in by who_secrets and fandom_secrets i am so fucking grateful. it makes me hate fandom and fear for the human race.
just... why? and can i bleach my eyes now? or retcon myself? and why couldn't i stop omg? i had things TO DO.
thank god it has been raining/storming all day today. i have completely wasted it.
also...
i have started watching being human and seem to quite like it. took me a while to figure out who tully was (it was driving me nuts!) but oh hi shakespeare.
also also...
i have fallen out of love with fanfiction. i just can't take it anymore.
just... why? and can i bleach my eyes now? or retcon myself? and why couldn't i stop omg? i had things TO DO.
thank god it has been raining/storming all day today. i have completely wasted it.
also...
i have started watching being human and seem to quite like it. took me a while to figure out who tully was (it was driving me nuts!) but oh hi shakespeare.
also also...
i have fallen out of love with fanfiction. i just can't take it anymore.
fantasy vs. reality
Feb. 23rd, 2009 09:28 pmit's fucking fanfic. why do i let it get to me so much? and yet i do and it does.
there's an 11 part series that i had been reading as the stories were posted, which is unusual for me since i DO NOT read wip's. but i stopped for a bit, and JUST finished reading the 10th part (which was originally posted around christmas?). i haven't yet read the 11th part, and now i'm not even sure i want to. i loved this series at the beginning. love LOVED. but this last part (the 10th) just made me absolutely FURIOUS. i am still just sitting here reeling(?) about it. (obviously or i wouldn't write this stupid fucking post).
this is going to have to go on my list of annoying fanfic issues.
the doctor does NOT trick or "kidnap" people into the tardis. he DOES NOT. it is ALways a conscious decision that the doctor has the person make. ALWAYS. he is very deliberate about this. he makes them CHOOSE. this is one area he does NOT play "god." it is THEIR CHOICE. always.
the minute your story, no matter how good, says otherwise, you have completely lost me. and the rest of your story may still be good. you may still be great writers. but you are WRONG, and i can't ignore that, and it absolutely ruins the story for me. i'm left reading the rest of the five parts going "no no no" the entire time and that won't go away no matter how you paint it.
sometimes i think fanfic writers get a bit too big for their britches. they think THEIR story is the exception or something. and i read thru the comments thinking that somebody else HAS to feel the same way i do. i can't be the only one, right? RIGHT? but apparently i am. because all anyone else has to say is the highest of praise. and this is definitely not the first time i've seen it happen. and it just really truly disappoints me.
real life sucks. i read fanfiction to make me happy. and right now i am anything but happy. god i need a fucking life.
there's an 11 part series that i had been reading as the stories were posted, which is unusual for me since i DO NOT read wip's. but i stopped for a bit, and JUST finished reading the 10th part (which was originally posted around christmas?). i haven't yet read the 11th part, and now i'm not even sure i want to. i loved this series at the beginning. love LOVED. but this last part (the 10th) just made me absolutely FURIOUS. i am still just sitting here reeling(?) about it. (obviously or i wouldn't write this stupid fucking post).
this is going to have to go on my list of annoying fanfic issues.
the doctor does NOT trick or "kidnap" people into the tardis. he DOES NOT. it is ALways a conscious decision that the doctor has the person make. ALWAYS. he is very deliberate about this. he makes them CHOOSE. this is one area he does NOT play "god." it is THEIR CHOICE. always.
the minute your story, no matter how good, says otherwise, you have completely lost me. and the rest of your story may still be good. you may still be great writers. but you are WRONG, and i can't ignore that, and it absolutely ruins the story for me. i'm left reading the rest of the five parts going "no no no" the entire time and that won't go away no matter how you paint it.
sometimes i think fanfic writers get a bit too big for their britches. they think THEIR story is the exception or something. and i read thru the comments thinking that somebody else HAS to feel the same way i do. i can't be the only one, right? RIGHT? but apparently i am. because all anyone else has to say is the highest of praise. and this is definitely not the first time i've seen it happen. and it just really truly disappoints me.
real life sucks. i read fanfiction to make me happy. and right now i am anything but happy. god i need a fucking life.
torchwood fanfic and fandom
Jan. 4th, 2009 09:16 pmand how they annoy me*
one of these days i'm going to write up a list of all the things that i hate about torchwood fanfic. i think about it often, but never actually do it. i really need to. maybe i'll just add things to this post as i go. or maybe i won't. we'll see.
anyhow, i just read a story that i REALLY enjoyed. it was by one of my favorite authors. BUT... yes, there is always a 'but' with me. BUT, it showcased something about fanfic that always ANNOYS me to no end. and actually, not just fanfic, but fandom's perspective on certain characters. so, maybe my list will include that, too. how fanfic AND fandom annoy me.
1. the doctor meets future!jack and he has a wife (and kid).
the thing that annoys me about this, is that it is quite looked down upon to view jack as "in love" with ianto, or want to marry him. admittedly, i stay away from fic like that also (it's the cheese factor). but WHY? why is it okay for at some point jack to get married (wife OR husband) but not okay for jack to want to have that kind of relationship with ianto? and i'm not even necessarily saying that *i* want jack to have that kind of relationship with ianto. but why the double standard? why is it okay for past!jack or future!jack, but not present!jack? is it because ianto is a 21st century male? is it something about his character in general? why do we look down upon the married!janto so much?
( Read more... )
will possibly continue to update.
*disclaimer: i am both a romantic at heart and a cold-hearted cynical bitch. this makes things difficult. or interesting. take your pick.
one of these days i'm going to write up a list of all the things that i hate about torchwood fanfic. i think about it often, but never actually do it. i really need to. maybe i'll just add things to this post as i go. or maybe i won't. we'll see.
anyhow, i just read a story that i REALLY enjoyed. it was by one of my favorite authors. BUT... yes, there is always a 'but' with me. BUT, it showcased something about fanfic that always ANNOYS me to no end. and actually, not just fanfic, but fandom's perspective on certain characters. so, maybe my list will include that, too. how fanfic AND fandom annoy me.
1. the doctor meets future!jack and he has a wife (and kid).
the thing that annoys me about this, is that it is quite looked down upon to view jack as "in love" with ianto, or want to marry him. admittedly, i stay away from fic like that also (it's the cheese factor). but WHY? why is it okay for at some point jack to get married (wife OR husband) but not okay for jack to want to have that kind of relationship with ianto? and i'm not even necessarily saying that *i* want jack to have that kind of relationship with ianto. but why the double standard? why is it okay for past!jack or future!jack, but not present!jack? is it because ianto is a 21st century male? is it something about his character in general? why do we look down upon the married!janto so much?
( Read more... )
will possibly continue to update.
*disclaimer: i am both a romantic at heart and a cold-hearted cynical bitch. this makes things difficult. or interesting. take your pick.
